It’s been a while since I posted anything. Why? busy with life perhaps…not. Really, what happen to me since my last post? Everything goes south in my life. I mean, everything. 1stly, I’ve since cut-off my contact with my parents like ignoring their calls, never reply their messages etc. Even on my late sister’s pray, I didn’t even came. With my academic situation kept worsening, I can only blame myself. Oh, did I tell you my new obsession? It’s facebook. Can’t live without it now. As always my imageshack always busy downloading something sleazy, if ya know what I mean. All my schedule is doomed, waiting to die in a most deceiving way. Eid is getting closer, I don’t know what to do. If I go back home surely there will be lots and lots of lecture to endure with. If I keep on going with my ego and stay in my bloody college, I’ll cement myself as the ultimate traitor of my parents. Which one I’m gonna choose? You decide it. SMS your votes to 0132035135. terms and conditions apply. haha. What a cliche….
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In my previous post I said about my life will be the end. But today I have a special subject to be disected…my very own friend Mohd Fariz bin Mohd Hidzir. He is actually a friend of mine or coursemate of mine or whatever. We have been in fight during my 1st and 2nd year with him. Guess what the reason is? I don’t bring extra helmet to fetch him from the commuter station. After that incident, he jumps to me and babbling about me not being sincere to give him a ride and wanna give me money for the ride back to the campus. How ridiculous is that. Does he expects me as a driver to him? bullshit! After that, i didn’t talk to him for 1 whole year until he approach me to have a conversation with me. And that’s the story. I wanna clarify if the person is reading this, when you asked me to fetch you up, I just went home from my parents and when you call I go as fast as I can until forgot the helmet. So it’s not really my fault. IT’S YOURS.
Now, after graduating he’s still in my life. He is now working at the Ministry of Youth and Sports in Putrajaya, Malaysia. That’s good for him right? but sadly it’s a nightmare for me. He has being staying at my room, which is a single room, for a week or so. Sure , you guys must think
“What’s the fuzz, letting one of your graduated coursemate live in your your room for a while.”
But what I felt now , he’s really a douchebag of sorts. Nevermind if he stays, but if he touches your belongings, that’s way out of line. Yeah that’s what happened. He takes all my 3 in 1 coffee without telling me. How do I know that? Well, I spy on him in the morning when I pretend to be sleeping. One thing he wants to stay in my room instead of his aunt (which is much more comfortable, nearer to office and more necessities available) is my internet wifi account. With my account, he’ll be able to surf the net and porn freely and I will pay the fees. Is that a friend would do to he’s dearest friend? I would not do the same thing to him for sure. Another thing that annoys me he still kept smoking those cheap kretek cigarettes eventhough I’ve been sending messages to him in the form of body languages that I dont like him smoking that in my room and stinks everything in it like my clothes and sheets. My mother would suspect me as a smoker with that smell sticks on all my clothes. That’s seem to be the point. I wish he would vanish from my life and move on to your own life, not sticking to others dickhead! One more thing, I really hope he will give me some input on my final year project, but he gave me nothing but misery. He even did not ask me anything about my final project and kept using my properties for his damn life. HERE’S MY MESSAGE TO YOU FARIZ KHIDZIR
“GET THE FUCKING OUT OF MY LIFE!!!”
People tend to wonder how on earth this bright fat kid that got high marks in exams and be a flop in the university. Yes, It’s me. The name Adnan Harriz Idris. Been in the university called” Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia” for 3 years now , reaching 4 years. I don’t know what I’ve done wrong in my life. In primary, secondary and matriculation process, all have been smooth. Then suddenly came the inevitable, the University life (or U life in short). from the beginning I felt something was not right when I’m entering the the U. The hastiness of me quitting my precious job before going to the U and also how things really go from bad to worse as I stepped right in. I remember in my 1st semester, I really have this eating disorder that blows me until I weighted 130 kg. I was also having problems with my roommate as he is a non-talker and I like to talk. We fight a lot, arguments here and there and eventhough it patched up, the wound is still there.
Did I tell you how I wanna find a girl during my U life? It’s all bullshit, big time. You know, girls nowadays are like anti-fat guys. They don’t even take a peek at me cause my weight issue. I heard from many guys who said the U life the best place where you can find girls, love and everything between them is all bullshit. My life is a testament to defy that . Since I enters U life. Life’s been hell. I even considered suicide, but could not do it cause I’m so a chicken. Furthermore, I became bored of my studies cause I dont know….maybe I studied too hard before and lost the steam now….I cant say how my life will bein the future. I’m so a asshole. I cant write this anymore. I felt so sick of myself….
OK last words from me, good luck to all my course mates who will be graduating in Biochemistry Honest Degree from UKM. you guys deserve the scroll for your hard work unlike me who just titters over the edge of doom. Hope you guys will have a bright future instead of dark which is happening to me. Happy graduating and Happy LOSER for me…
As I’m writing this, I’m in a state of depression that my mind keep thinking of suicide. All because of my ignorance to the advices people gave to me, including from my family. From my point of view, I don’t have a future. All is ruined now. My habit of delaying is eating my life and my future. I cannot think of another escape route from this problem except hurting my love ones badly and deeply. It all begins when my obsession towards women and porno makes me forget my life altogether. Untill now, I don’t have the guts to see my supervisor for my thesis topic untill the 5th week of the semester. Other students have completed their proposal while me still in the dark. I don’t know if my supervisor will accept me because if I’m the supervisor, I will reject the student unconditionally with no regrets whatsoever. So what will my fate be? I can’t extend for another year, my father have retired by nxt year and sure their heart will crushed if knew i will extend for another year…
So suicide is the only option. I have dreamt about commiting suicide and been thinking about it. Surely everyone thinks there’s always another way out but for me, the end is just around the corner….very near.
The title said it all. Most of us would be insulted (men of course) if this phrase smack at their macho face. Well, actually, this is a line taken from the horrifyingly comedial The Joker from The Dark Knight( Thank god for letting Heath Ledger saying this and then die). For those uninitiated, the line is said to the mob bosses who had a meeting inside a hotel kitchen in daylight because they’re afraid of The Batman. I am not writing a batman synopsis but this always the case when sometimes we see men that is likely “men.” Sure you know what i meant. Me of course is one case where my balls just drop off because my cowardship thinking of myself. Yeah you can call me a wuss. You know why? because I really am a pig afraid of everything. I’m afraid to see my supervisor for my thesis title. Furthermore, i stilldon’t want to see the optician for my “blind eyes.”Everything i can’t do i always create those excuses and finally I postpone the stuffs and postpone again untill the day i wanna do it, the thing don’t matter anymore. I think my life would be over with the future looking bleak for me. I thing failure is a guy and the guy is me…..
One thing I love about my university is its network connection! Well i’m a download freak so this kind of speed makes me wanna scream loud. It’s better than sex! (coz i’m a virgin; never have sex b4) Seriously dude, this connnection can reach 2 MB/sec per download! Hope I am taking this chance for my academic…..Naaaah never. Sadly, I never used the internet for academical purposes……well only couple of times when desperation comes creeping.When I glance back, truly I’m now drowning in the tech wave. Too late 4 me though, but you guys should use the web 4 something meaningful 4 life or career or your studies. Don’t be like me, I’m doomed to fail in my studies bcoz of my obsession of downloading anything I could grab (mostly porn…) So lastly, I would like to congratulate all my coursemates whose graduating and let me Rot in Hell…What a Cruel World…..
Yeah got sick in the middle of exam week, a very bad timing for me. No mood for study, read or even masturb8. No don’t tink like that. I ust wanna express how deeply this sickness affects me. Got it from my friend (ooh bullshit). Planning to went back home but cancelled because of my sore throat. Can’t afford to let anymore people sick! because i’m sick my mind is now dizzy. Can’t think of anything except, porn. Told you earlier that i cant masturb8 but i crave for as a collection not for my big fat louzy lust i have. Ooh talking bout that is really gross. Aha exam’s ganna end next week but i dont feel anything. My parents thinks i’m gonna grad this year but actually i’m not. I dunno when i can finish my degree with my confidence in an all-time low. I feel sad because all my friends will graduate leaving me alone in 6th floor single room and making shit of myself. So if anyone reads this please tell me, how am I gonna tell my parents about my graduate postponement and how to limit the damages inflicted I’m really scared to tell them because my family just went through a rough time and I dont wanna make it worse.
OOh really a tough week
When I sit on my desk , i was gonna write something soothing to the eyes and mind. But after seeing all the wrongdoings of a man with the title son of the king, i have to voice my objection towards this insanity and save the pure human soul that is hard to find today….
The story is about Manohara Odelia Pinot, the model from Indonesia with french and Bugis blood. She’s really a beautiful lady, considered as the next big thing in modelling industry. With bright future in front of her, suddenly she is married to a Kelantan ruler’s son,Tengku Muhammad Fakry Petra, in August 2008. After that, all hell breaks loose. The princess (because now she’s the wife of the prince) have not allowed to live her previous life. She never allowed to talk to her friends anymore, even her mother. There was also report of domestic abuse to her by her beau. Rumour has it, her hand was cut by a razor by her “prince Charming.” How sweet it was. The princess now have no social life, imprisoned inside the palace (I think hell is a better term) and tortured consistently. Her mother has tried to take her back but was blocked by the Immigration Department with the main culprit is The Raja Perempuan of Kelantan, Manohara’s mother in law. Also rumoured is the Prince’s indecent words toward her and the other Indonesians.
The case have received wide coverage from Indonesia and anti-Malaysia chant is firing. I, as a Malaysian citizen is deeply embarrassed by the royalty misbehaving that caused trouble, if not catastrophe to Malaysia. Spoilt prince like him should be reprimanded by police because of domestic violence, but he’s a royalty, immune from the law. Long have I think that we should abolish the Kings in Malaysia because the people’s fund wasted for them. If they done their job, That’s good. If they just cause a stir like these, there will be many Indonesian wanting Malaysian’s head. In fact me, a Malaysian-Indonesian descendant is deeply raged by this scandal. Enough is enough. Bring justice back to Manohara and punish the Prince. I believe this will not happen simply because he is a royalty. My word to you Prince,” The royal you are, but your attitude should let you be flush in the toilet”.
Oh, by the way, the couple met at the Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib ‘s function and the Immigration thing also involved him. Good luck PM for oyur next tactic to quash those accusations….
Today it’s the 1st of my exam, juz done it wellll below the par. I sure can guest what my grades will be. Maybe C-, D or worst F!!. But my mind st for this exam. Yeah with all the disturbance, social and political in M’sia no wonder. Still, i remembvered going to my final exam in my secondary year full of hope and confidence for my result. I havent sure catch that moment yet. There’s so much running in my head now that I cant think of academic thingy. The perception in my mind is that academic is not my cup of coffeee anymore. Academic is fulll of bullshit that i cant even understand and the other coursem8 being alien to me except for few… maybe thats the reason.
The guilt is for me to bear as I’m not sure i can continue this never ending disgust of my life, including my degree pursuiting life. With my nearest famiy have few times left in this earth, I couldent feel terrible of myself. “Why does He wants to take her so badly? Just spare her, take my life instead, the life that is unmemorable and unjust to me.”
“Yeah keep babbling more and you cant admit that you afraid of death. Telling this beautiful lie about being the scape-goat, admit it, you dint care about anything but porn and sex. Aha thats is you all along. Even you have forgetten Him. Cut the crap. Dont be the angel. Inside, you are the devil, thinking of your lust 24/7″
Thats my babbling for today. The good and the bad always fighting insside me. As always The bad wins and youll know your fate: Dine in hell…..
yeah finally i have a conscience to post in my blog… yeah its so niice i cant x press my feelings in this blog.
So for my 1st post i wanna talk about…….girls.
So is it true that girls attracted only to hot guys, coz guys are like that…eerr the gay guys. From my point of view they dont even wanna glance to an ugly guy like me pulling their faces off. So girls are like that.
But when you talk bout the girls with table cloth(muslimahs.. haha) they dont even glance thir faces looking down whenever they bump to guys ugly or hot guys. But my taste is on the hot chicks eventhough i’m fat and ugly. Crossing my finger to find my right choice…or hoping an angel would fall to my lap…..
OK folks thats all for now hope someone would reply my calls to all the hot chicks… prepare for the next by election in Penanti see ya around
